To assume makes and ass out of you AND me.

So....we got a letter the other day to say my visa for the US has been approved.  The next stage is an Interview, medical and criminal background check at the US Embassy in London but thats it.  Just like that I am allowed to move to the States.  Just like that my whole world changes.  In one letter.   Dont get me wrong, I am so excited about FINALLY starting my life with my husband.  But does that mean im not allowed to be scared as all living hell?

So what is it I'm scared about?  I have never been desperate to stay in England?  I'm not really that close to my family?  Truthfully, I dont know.....but I know that the anxiety in me causes me to start unneccessary fights, get teary eyed at the drop of a hat, and generally spend a good few days a month in a state of worry.  If your reading this, please dont get this mixed up with me not wanting to be with my husband.  I cant even begin to tell you how much I cant wait to finally start our lives together.  We have done long distance for nearly 3 years now and its certainly taken its toll on us and our relationship.  I figure we must be stronger than we give ourselves credit for because we have lasted this long.   It seems almost surreal that before the end of the summer I will be moving to a different country to start a brand new life with my husband by my side.  Thats a GREAT feeling.  But does it stop me worrying and being scared? Nope.  Of course not.  It scares. me. to. death.

I guess alot of my anxiety is based around my job.  Whats going to happen to me now I  move to the states and officially enter the world of being a military wife?  I love my husband more than life itself but I dont want to lose the career I worked so hard for.   Of course I would do anything for James, hell I am moving 5000 miles away from my home for him, and I have NO regrets about that.  It doesnt make me any less scared that the only job prospects for me are going to be working as the duty manager at McDonalds though. The mere thought gives me chills.  My job, unfortunately, isnt easily transferable.  I work in Television.  How many cities in the US are known for producing good television.  I can work that out for you - 2.  NY and LA.  So we are desperately trying to get Port Hueneme as our next duty station in the hope we will both be happy and content.  After that? Who knows.

When I leave London will my family and friends forget me?  Will I miss out on everything thats going on "back home" because I am so far away?  Will anyone come and visit me?  What about when we have children, will they really not know they are half English and have a family and friends in London?

I guess I have to just let fate be the teller of my destiny and ride the waves of uncertainty for a while.

I have one thing that is for certain though.  My husband.  He makes everything better with one look, one hug, one kiss.  God I miss that man.

Thanks rain for pissing on my parade...

London - 3pm.  Its freezing cold and pouring rain, so I leave my coat in the apartment and forget an umbrella.  I drop my dog off to a friends house, she craps in her conservatory.  I forget my ID pass for work, I have to get out of my car in the rain and explain to security that I am, in fact, a legitimate employee and I am honestly not just trying to get in and actually work for the good of my health.  I turned my computer on at work and believe me when I say I could actually run to the location of where the website was created quicker than it would load.  It took me 30mins to log in.  I called our tech support who spent an hour on the phone accessing my computer and apparently "making it run quicker" (tech terms I think).  I rebooted the computer, got off the phone, thanked the guy who had helped and then found out its slower than it was before.  Good times.

On the more positive side...I spoke to my husband last night who was thrilled that he finally recieved mail.  It has to be a record...6 care packages and 3 letters!  Everyone else in his detachment called him a lucky bastard, and that made me smile ever so slightly.  Dont get me wrong, not all of them were actually from me, 2 were from friends of mine and 2 were from various organisations that I had signed him up to, but I'm just SO happy he had so much to open!  Certainly makes a difference from Christmas day where not a single one of them had anything to open.

Sometimes I catch myself just thinking about James....yeah, I may have dealt with assholes who didnt know how to treat me right but I really couldnt ask for anymore in James than what he gives me.  He makes me laugh like no one else can, his beautiful green eyes light up when he's passionately talking about something, he's the most thoughtful man on this planet....I could go on but I'd be here all day.   I may miss him more than anything in the world and I may spend my days thinking about him and how much I cant wait for the simple things like a cuddle when he gets home and for him to actually be able to look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me, but for now his calming words and sweet voice will have to do <3

"Don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of shitting on you"

After much persuasion ive been convinced (conned) into writing a blog.  Who knows, it might actually save the world and heal my soul.  God knows I have sinned enough so if my ramblings are enough to encourage the world to be a better place then hey, lets do this.

First of all, let me make no apologies for the biased opinions, foul language and rollercoaster of emotions expressed in this blog....whats the point in writing it if I'm trying to be someone I'm not?

So who am I?  Honestly, why does anyone care? Chances are you dont know me, where im from, what I do or who I hang out with.  Chances are if you read more of my blogs you'll find out exactly that and I'm guessing a whole lot more. 

Im Samantha.  29yrs old,  born and bought up in London, England.  No kids (although its made into a daily discussion referring to my *age* and how I am quite simply "not getting any younger") , recently married to the love of my life, my world, my soulmate, my reason for breathing, my sunshine on a rainy day (are you ready to vomit yet?)  James.  Quite selflessy he's serving in the United States Navy and due to this fact we have spent the majority of our married life, and indeed prior to that, separated.  Hence the title of this blog.  Ahhhh...see what I did there.  James has deployed again for the 2nd time since 2009 (another 8 months, oh the joys).   Apart from a brief stint as a nanny in the US, I have worked in television since I graduated university 8 years ago.  I work for the BBC as a Production Co-Ordinator.  I organise and get paid for it - how couldnt you love that?  Im also about to start the biggest year of my life....Im moving to the US once James gets back from his deployment in August 2011.

So here we go, the biggest year of my life and the scariest, most exciting rollercoaster ride that lies ahead of me.  Come join the ride......